Can't Sleep

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It's funny how sometimes when you can't sleep the weirdest things pop into my head. Right now I am thinking of redheads. You know, like Annette O'Toole, Ann Margaret, Rita Hayworth, Julianne Moore. Remember Bridget Fonda in Single White Female? Loved her cute little bob haircut. I do not look good as a redhead. Just doesn't look good with my skin or eyes and there are only certain clothing colors you can wear. Nope, don't want to be a redhead.

Big weekend planned. Palm Desert, Palm Springs for the Los Angeles Women's Theatre Project. I am looking forward to art all weekend! Concerts and parties, workshops and meeting Janis Ian! I will take photos and upload them when I return.

Haven't heard anything more on the recent auditions. It was cool auditioning at CBS. And my Agent has submitted me for many upcoming projects. Oh, I need a national commercial big time! The commercial I did last week was just background. So I need a leading role in a national commercial. That would be awesome.

I saw an old movie today that I really liked, The Turning Point with Anne Bancroft and with Shirley Maclaine (another redhead). Why aren't there more roles like that with two women friends? The dialogue is great and the ballet dancing. Ah!!! I never tire of that film.

Did you ever dream of meeting someone really famous? I mean, like really pined over someone and read every interview, knew their birthdays, their favorite color, their favorite food? And then you pray and pray that someday you'll meet that person? And then wonder of wonders, you actually do meet them? Well that is what happened to me on more than one occasion. And each time, I was not prepared. Because it seems to happen as a fluke and you are not prepared. But maybe you wanted it so badly that the universe just opens up and gives it to you when you least expect it. I met Joel Gray. I met Esai Morales. I met KD Lang. I met Keiko Matsui. I met Jay Leno. I met many more show biz folks! Sometimes I have to remind myself to breathe! Breathe, Lisa! And they are just folks like us, well maybe not exactly like us.

So anyway, I guess my point is this. Believe in yourself. Believe that you are worthy of good things happening to you. Because what you think about, you will bring about. Now I am thinking of writing the next great screenplay that actors will fight to be in my first film. How's that for thinking big? It wasn't that long ago that I was riding around in my police car writing parking tickets in Ohio. I knew that I was wasting my time. I knew that I should be in California. I knew I was an actor and should be acting. I would carry yellow legal pads in my trunk. I would take my 30 minute lunch time and pull under a shady tree and park. I would write and write. I didn't know how I was going to get from Ohio to California. I just knew this was where I belonged. And lo and behold, here I am. Again, the universe opened up and gave me this opportunity.

Did it just happen? Or did I bring this about? You know the mind is a very powerful tool. That is why we must stay positive. If you think negative things, then that is exactly what will happen in your life. If you think positive things, you will get positive things. I am very picky about my friends. I am very picky about how I spend my time, the books that I read, the films that I watch. There is so much negative stuff going on and I refuse to be around it. So I know, I just know that this weekend will bring about some very positive things in my life.

I am excited, so excited in fact that sometimes I can't sleep. Okay, glass of wine I know you want me to drink. And so I shall. You are cool and tart, light and aromatic. You beg me to drink more and so it will be. We have shared many a lonely night together. You have helped me through some tough times and sad times. You have kept me home when I felt like wandering. You have kept me sane when I wanted to scream. You have filled my belly when I wanted to eat something. You have calmed the little girl in me that screamed out for revenge. You have given me balls when I was scared. Yes, I can say you have been a loyal friend. And loyal friends are hard to come by, especially in Hollywood.

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