Tell All Tales

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I haven't written in awhile because not much has been happening other than an audition this week in Pasadena. That is fine with me because it has been nice to be home. I started thinking about all these celebrities and their tell all tales. Where were we before everyone started airing their dirty laundry?

I mean things like who is drunk, who is taking pills, who is sleeping with who? Who is gay, who is straight? Does anyone really care anymore? Now all these things happened in our parents generation and most likely in their parents generation. It just seems like it is all over the place now with the paparazzi and all. Does anyone read books anymore?

I went to our local library recently and picked up several movies (for free), and about 4 books. I had a wonderful time reading, relaxing and watching some movies. I watched On the Waterfront, Lost in Translation and Walkout. I really enjoyed myself.

Marlon Brando was amazing as always and so was Bill Murray. Well, Bill wasn't exactly amazing but he is a good actor. I am watching an old movie right now on Showtime, Bob & Carol & Ted & Alice. It's funny but I never thought Elliot Gould was good looking. And Natalie Wood was really beautiful, such a loss.

Gosh, my mind is wandering. sorry... I guess I wonder why people are always airing their dirty laundry on TV. Is it for the publicity? Do we really want to know what's going on with the people that we think we know just because they are on TV? Or is it deeper than that?

Do we think that because they are on TV that their lives are better, or fuller, more meaningful? I have met some amazing people who happen to be just regular folks, like police officers, nurses, teachers or stay-at-home mothers. And I've met some boring people who happen to be..... okay, I'm not going to name names but you know who you are.

Who are we? Do we make a difference in this world? Are we here for a reason? All good questions and ones that I hope will get answered someday for each of us. My husband watched Walkout with me and he was very moved by the film. He said something to the effect that those kids were so courageous to stand up for what they believed in. And I reminded him that I have marched in protest in parades for the past 10 years. And I have always asked him to walk with me and he has always preferred to stay at home.

The difference between knowing what is right and standing up for what is right are two different things. It takes courage to stand up for your beliefs. But I'm afraid in this day and age where people are just so pissed off about everything that it is hard to tell the difference between right and wrong. And that scares me.

It scares me because when we have a society that is just so angry than it cannot tell right from wrong, and will not allow tolerance of any kind. Well, then we may as well be back in Nazi Germany. And where there is hatred and intolerance then there will be violence and I fear that is just around the corner. Just look at what is happening in Arizona today.

Look at all the Teabaggers. They are just an angry mob. Well, we were angry over the last 8 years of the Bush administration. But we did not go after him. We did not go after the Republicans even though they screwed us big time. More civil liberties were taken away during his 8 year period than any other time with any other President.

And before people start going off on me, yes I was born and raised in this country and so were my parents. I have seen my parents work so hard all their lives to raise 8 children and go to church every Sunday and they have nothing to show for all their hard work.

I have seen companies up and leave places like northern Michigan and northwestern Ohio and take their businesses down to Mexico or India. They left families without jobs for corporate profit. I have seen some churches torn apart because of priests who molested little children. I have seen such divorce rates that rip families apart and yet these same people would deny gay families the right to marry. I have seen young teens hungry for parents who would love and guide them. But instead they leave these young kids without guidance or real love. I have given these kids a bed to sleep in, a warm home cooked meal and someone to listen while they talk.

And yet, I myself have been without a job for the last 15 months. I don't blame the Obama administration. I know he is doing the best job that he can given the circumstances that he walked into. We should all support our President and what he is trying to accomplish. It's a heavy burden. And if those in Congress are going to stall and not work with the President, then they should not be in office.

It's hard to tell our children that this is a wonderful country when so much is going wrong. But it is still a great country and there are still some wonderful people in this country. I want to be a part of something that is greater than myself. Don't you? We can all make the change that we need to be. It takes one day at a time and one step at a time.

I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant

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Yes, I filmed an episode of this TV show for TLC (the learning channel) last Fall. I auditioned for a doctor and they ended up hiring me to be a Social Worker. It was a fun time and good to do television again.

The episode will be on television tomorrow, Wednesday, July 21 @ 4:30 p.m. on TLC. Check your local listings for the channel. The episode actually contains two real life stories. The episode is 30 minutes long with two 15 minute stories. The first story is about a woman named Glynis. The second story is about a woman named Robyn. I am in the second story.

Robyn and her husband do not know that she is pregnant and so then... well you'll have to watch the story to see what happens next. But when they talk about a social worker, well keep your eyes open cause that is when I come in. Let me know what you think after you watch it! I will look forward to reading and publishing your comments.

I have been working on some interviews for Latino LA and you should see them published some time this week.

Don't know about everyone else but I am getting tired of 95 to 105 degree days. It just drains your energy. Ugh! Keep drinking fluids and stay out of the sun, that's my words of wisdom for today.

Well, in case you are wondering the Dexter audition went just okay. Not great. I haven't heard anything from them so that means that someone else got the job. It's such a great show. I just hope that they will give me another chance someday down the road.

It's funny because lately I have been reading so much on this industry. I am an avid reader. One book says audition this way. Another book says audition that way. One says just be natural. Another says pretend you are talking to your best friend. Others talk about acting classes. I just think I need to get in front of the camera as often as I can. The more I do it, the better I'll get. You can tell someone how to drive but until they get behind that wheel and practice and practice, they will never know how to drive. Well, that's me.

As much as I appreciate advice from those that are successful, I am someone who just has to do something over and over again until I get it right. So I recently filmed two days of a music video. I also filmed a scene for a short horror film. Then last 2 weekends I worked on a short film where I play Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor. And I went on an audition for a USC film.

Then this woman who shall remain nameless asks me what the USC film title was. Why? Because she wanted to go out on the same audition. Now why would I give someone else this information? Sorry, honey find your own opportunities.

We had a young deaf girl in one acting class and she wanted to know why this business is so competitive. Excuse me? Every job in any field is competitive. You have to do your homework. Find the opportunities, get ready and give it your all.

As Chuck Norris said in his book, "those who fail to plan, plan to fail". There's no business like show business.

Dexter

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Well, this post will not be an easy post to write. But, I owe it to you my readers and anyone else who gives a damn about my life the honest truth. Because you all know that I am an actress and a writer. I share the ups and downs of this business as honestly and truthfully as I can. I meet all kinds. I meet the honest to goodness good actors who are on television. I meet the wanna bees who come to the set and work as extras just to have something to do and get a free meal. And I meet everyone in between. Now I am not putting anyone down because if you want to work 8 to 12 hours just to get a free meal, more power to you. But I am here for the ride because I love acting and I have a real reverence for the stage (theater).

Two of the my favorite television shows of all time are Six Feet Under and Dexter. What do they both have in common? Well, that would be actor Michael C. Hall. One show was on HBO and the other is currently running on Showtime. Now I have followed every episode of both shows since they started. The writing is fantastic and the acting is great too. That is why Dexter is being nominated again for Emmy awards this year.

Well, you can imagine my surprise when my Agent called me to tell me I had an audition for Dexter. I said what? And she said, I know they are so hard to get. But now that I can go out for AFTRA and SAG roles, they are submitting me for those big television commercials and television shows.

I went from starting out as a background extra way back in 1994 to getting an agent, landing a national commercial, working on a SAG film with Mark Ruffalo and Orlando Bloom to this. Yikes! So I went to one of the biggest casting agencies. I really thought carefully about what I was going to wear, how I should fix my hair. All those little things that can throw off your performance. And I learned my lines and I studied my lines.

And I got to the casting agency and I saw their name. I stepped into the elevator, went to the suite and checked in. I had my head shot ready when the receptionist asked for it. I had a few moments and my name was called. So I walked into the tiny room where they were going to tape my audition and I blew it. I psyched myself up so much that it felt like a bad movie in slow motion. It felt like a bad dream.

I wish I could say I went in there and wowed them and now I am going to be on the show. But if anything could go wrong, it did. So there you have it. The honest truth people. And to be even more honest, I feel like getting out of this business entirely. But I know that I am just beating myself up over a bad performance and that is never a good thing to do. So I am going to have a 5 minute pity party and then get over it.

I am going to work on my camera technique. I am going to know my lines backwards, forwards and everything in between. I am going to take another class on how to handle my nerves and have them work for me and not against me. And I am going to learn from this because the next time I get a big audition, I'll be ready.

Michael Jackson is my inspiration. Perfectionist that he was, he did things over and over again until they were perfect. He was the consummate performer. He made things look easy and we oohed and ahhed because he was so good. That is a showman. That is what acting is all about. Okay, so I wasn't ready for the big time. But I will be so now I am upping my game. Why? Because I must, I refuse to give up. I will make my agent proud of me one day, She believes in me and cheers for me every step of my journey.

Nothing in this life comes easy. But if it meant to be, then it is up to me.

Guardian Angels are Everywhere

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Guardian angels are everywhere. You may not see them but sometimes if you pray and are very still, you will receive guidance if you listen closely. I know this because it happened to me.

I was a young girl and feeling very overwhelmed. My family was poor and there were constant arguments about money. We lived in a poor neighborhood on the east side of Toledo, Ohio. Yup, same poor city that Gloria Steinem grew up in.

I was teased in school, we moved several times and it was difficult to make new friends. On top of that I had polio. I couldn't keep up with the other kids, I felt different and I wanted to be the same as everyone else. I had low self-esteem and I saw no way out of my life. So I considered suicide. I tried to think of a way to do it that would not cause that much pain.

I felt all alone and just when I made up my mind to actually do it, my guardian angel spoke to me. She told me to hang in there and to wait because when I got older my life was going to be better, much better. Although I couldn't see her, I did feel her presence. And I remember saying out loud, okay but you better be right.

I found comfort and solace in my books. Thank goodness for the nuns who insisted that we get a free library card and started reading. What began as homework assignments turned into a lifelong love of books and the written word. With my books I could travel anywhere in the world. I was free to find adventure in Nancy Drew. I went onto history, fiction, biographies and more. I loved the classics like Oliver Twist, Great Expectations, Death of a Salesman, and Romeo & Juliet.

My latino family thought I was weird and when I was a teen, I was mad over the kings & queens of England. What saddened me was not having latino heroes and heroines. Because I found an outlet in my love of books, I felt real joy in books, theater and music. That led to dance lessons, voice lessons, joining the glee club. I joined local theater groups and made new friends.

My actor friends were like me. They were creative, artistic, fun-loving people who saw the world differently from everyone else. I would rather go to an art museum than a bar. I met my husband, a musician and everything started to click. Our friends were artists, actors, musicians and singers.

People ask me how I got into acting as if this were a fun project that I am trying this week. They don't realize that acting (since I've done from high school) reading and writing was my salvation. My salvation! I use my past to create my future. My life is infinitely better now.

I found someone who loves me as I am. He supports me and lifts me up and is truly my best friend. I know how lucky I am to have found love at a young age. Spirituality has healed my soul and given me hope. Friends have helped me find acceptance in being a disabled person. Courage has helped me find strength in daily life. My children are my hope for the future. And I am blessed to find joy in my work as a writer. I challenge myself as an actor. And I thank God for sending me my guardian angel that day, that was so many years ago. I have had the most amazing ride and have met some wonderful people along the way. Never, ever give up hope.

Never be afraid to dream and to dream big. I was not born into money. I didn't have any Hollywood connections. But I did have desire and persistence. I am not afraid to take classes and learn new things. I am not afraid to walk into auditions. I learn from constructive criticism and I work hard to hone my craft.

Things are happening in my career. For some, it may seem weird. For me, this is just as I always envisioned it would be. Me driving into Los Angeles and meeting casting directors, writers and others. I get stuck in traffic -- I occasionally run into someone I just saw in a feature film or tv show. We are all artists, struggling to find a job. And hoping to contribute -- to make this world a better place. And for me, to maybe help someone who was like me. A poor kid from a poor neighborhood who just wants to feel that they are special, too. Even if no one else can see it.

I hope someone in a wheelchair is reading this right now or some Latino young gal or guy who can relate. I would say to them, never give up your dreams.

Here Comes the Judge

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It has been a very crazy few days and I have to remind myself to slow down because the mind is willing but the body says slow down, Lisa...

I was notified that I had two auditions. One was in San Diego and the other was in Los Angeles. I tried to make them both but of course I could not. I had to cancel the SD audition and was on my way to the LA audition when I received a new telephone call and had yet another audition in LA. Yay! I was very excited because I had headshots in my car, my make-up, several wardrobe changes and yes I was ready to go. I tell ya, I'm practically living out of my car right now.

So I have these auditions and was notified that I have been hired for a short film about our supreme court justices. And I get to play the honorable Sonia Sotomayor. I'm so excited and it's amazing how much I do look like her. I thought what the heck, I'll send my photo in. I am so amazed at all her accomplishments. So I will be working on this project within the next few weeks so stay tuned.

Acting class last night with actor/producer/director Dustin Nguyen. Do you remember him from the old tv show, 21 Jump Street? He is very nice and still very handsome. His wife Angela was there too. She is beautiful. He is a very good teacher and I am having a blast learning from him.

Well, there is a new show in town, the Tony award winning musical, In the Heights. I really want to see it and the wonderful musician, Keiko Matsui is coming into town again to one of my favorite wineries. So much to see and do and so little time.

Missing my family back home in Ohio and I told my sister Linda that when I make it big I am going to hire her as my personal assistant. She laughed but I was quite serious. I would love it to have someone help me schedule my day, make my appointments, take care of travel arrangements, maid service for my home, a pool man for my pool, a landscaper and of course, a driver. Who wants to drive on the 405? Not me, that's for sure.

I remember working background on a commercial for UPS. I was talking to this woman who was telling us tales of working with another background actor named Jim Carrey. He was entertaining everyone and wrote himself a check for $20 million dollars and now look. His belief in himself and his hard work and persistence has paid off. So you never know...