Estoy Enamorado

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That is the name of the music video I did with reggaeton stars, Wisin y Yandel. The video was shot in Palmdale, Ca and in Cerritos, CA back in June. I play the Mom and you can actually view the entire video on You Tube. Enter this into the Search: Estoy Enamorado official video Wisin y Yandel. It was uploaded about one month ago so make sure you have the right one.

It was loads of fun to make and while I have no lines, there was tons of acting involved. I think I did pretty good except I hate how they did my hair. Oh well, can't be too particular.

The audition I did yesterday went pretty well. It was for another music video. The part called for a disabled actor. I have a wheelchair that I purchased awhile back. Even with medical insurance I still can't afford a proper power chair. So on my bad polio days when it hurts too much to walk, I do use my chair in my home. I saw a fellow actor and friend, Alice at the audition. She has a beautiful red wheelchair. Love it! It was great to see her again. Last time I saw her we were in an acting class together taught by the beautiful Lainie Kazan.

Over the weekend I went to Long Beach to have a sleep study done. Unfortunately, polio survivors are frequently diagnosed with sleep apnea. It felt strange to sleep in a medical facility and monitored all night. I was discharged at 6:00 a.m.,, drove home. Took a nice bubble bath, got dressed and drove to Los Angeles for the audition.

Hopefully there will be more upcoming auditions. It's difficult finding work in Hollywood but I have good experience, good training. I take my career in my hands and with the guidance of my agent, things are going well. Opportunities are out there, you just have to look for them and go for it.

I'm Alright!

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Happy Saturday! Busy day today as I am starting a new diet yet again. Cholesterol is too high, weight is too high, everything is too high including the temp of 102. Ugh! So now taking statins to help lower cholesterol, more greens to eat and less red meat. No more hamburgs, hot dogs, pizza, cheese, ice cream. Sadness, but I don't want a heart attack either!

Went to the Riverside PPS group meeting today. How fun! Met some lovely people and we had a potluck summer party.

I have to rest for a bit as I am having a sleep study done later tonight. I will be checking in to a hospital where they will monitor me all night long. It should be nice and relaxing although I will miss my kitten. She sleeps next to me all night. Sorry, honey!

And, drum roll please! An audition tomorrow!!! It's for another music video. I know I swore I would not do another music video but it's just an audition. We'll see how it goes. Still haven't heard if I have gotten chosen to do the Ewok audition so continue to keep your fingers crossed for me.

Oh and my episode of I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant is going to be on TLC again on Wednesday at 10:00 a.m. Don't blink or you will miss me. These two people decide they aren't ready to be parents and decide to give the baby up for adoption. I play the social worker and I come and take the baby away. And yes, that is a real baby that I am holding. Fake baby for the rehearsals and the real baby for the real shoot. Cute baby, too!

So in case you were worried about me, I am doing alright. I am hanging in there, keeping the faith and believing that the Goddess has some wonderful things for me just around the corner. So if any of my peeps want to hang out in LA tomorrow morning, call me. I have some time to kick it before my audition. Oh, and if you are reading this and haven't become a follower, please join us. Some upcoming interviews with Daniel Zacapa and hopefully Kathy Griffin. Stay tuned!

I Want to Be an Ewok!

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I woke up early and checked the site for actors and lo and behold they are looking for someone to be an Ewok. I could totally do this! The job works in Hollywood on Thursday so they are calling people in. I may get a call today! That would be awesome. I haven't had an audition for 2 weeks. I have noticed casting is picking up lately, it's just difficult if you don't fit into a category.

I remember one particular early morning, I left my hotel room at 7:00 a.m. and reported to Universal Studios lot. The air was fresh and clean, the street cleaners were out and there was not that much traffic yet. I had grabbed a morning cup of coffee from the hotel lobbey and was on my way. It was so exciting reporting to the set. Now when you're working the rule of thumb is hurry up and wait. You want to be on the set on time or preferably early. Report in, get in makeup and wardrobe and then sit and wait. It's a good time to chat with the other actors, meet some new friends, exchange cards and wait until we are needed.

One of the other films is casting 1800's time era people. Now, that it is Summer I have been thinking of doing some streaks of lighter color on my dark hair. But, if you work period costume shows like this film, no highlights please! They really want natural looking hair so that is why I have not done the streaks. Also my nails. Unlike some people, my nails grow really long and I have to cut them down. But depending on the role, sometimes I'll cut them all the way down to nothing. Doesn't matter, they grow back quickly anyway.

My last blog was a little angry sounding and I apologize for that but sometimes you just have to let off some steam, right? Writing has always been very therapeutic for me and it is better than smashing a windshield with a golf club right? Not that I have any golf clubs anyway, but you get my drift.

I am missing Las Vegas. Never thought I would say that but my brother lives there and I haven't been there in a few months. We always make a point to hang out, grab some lunch or an early dinner and catch up. He is an entertainer too! It's funny because when we were kids we would entertain our entire family. We would sing and dance and make jokes. I guess we both love to entertain. How many Latinos do you know who are siblings and both in the entertainment business? It's funny cause we both moved far away from home (Ohio) and moved out west.

Well, lots of folks out there still out of work, but keep the faith people. Things will get better, they always do. Americans are resilient! Say a little prayer for me, I know I could be an Ewok. Stay tuned!

No More Mr Nice Guy

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Nice guys finish last. Isn't that what they all say? Well, I'm beginning to think that is true. I have spent the last few years going from a background actor to a featured actor or even principle actor. It's not easy. There are headshots to be taken, registrations at various casting companies, acting classes, getting an agent, publicity, etc. And of course, all of this is not free.

Background actors are actors who are called by a casting company to be in the background. The pay is not much. If it is a non-union project, you get $64 for 8 hours of work. You do get overtime if the project runs over 8 hours. But if you work 8 hours or less you get a check for $64. Now after taxes, you are lucky if you get $50. You get no lines to say and are usually treated like cattle. However, if you pay attention it is a good way to see what the movie industry is about and see how the principle actors (those who have main parts and have lines) are. You should not put this background experience on your acting resume.

Stage actors or theatrical actors work in the theatre. If you are working on a non-union production you will get paid $0 or next to nothing for each performance. The upside is you have to audition to prove you can do the role. And it really teaches you your craft of acting. You have to take direction, you learn from other actors and it is great to put on a resume.

Student films: are films to help you get experience working in front of the camera. Pay = $0 and you most likely will get lunch, but not breakfast or dinner. They always promise to give you a copy of film but most likely you will have to beg, beg, beg to get this. They always promise copy, credit and a meal. You can put this on your acting resume if you have speaking lines. Some of the best places to get these are USC film school, AFI film school and University of Chapman film school.

After awhile of doing background work, theatre and student films you are ready to move up to professional actor. Professional actors get paid to act. You continue to audition for roles that have speaking parts and they pay you money. You can make anywhere from $109 for 8 hours to $324 for 8 hours. Not bad money depending on if this is an AFTRA job or a SAG job. Now the difference is AFTRA is on videotape stuff on TV. And SAG is a SAG project on TV or a feature film which can be low-budget film or high budget. And if you go over 8 hours, you will get overtime.

I started acting in grade school, acted in high school. I joined my local comunity theatre groups and did theatre for years. I went to college, enrolled in some theatre classes and still continued to act for free. I then moved to California and became interested in acting in feature films. I started doing background extra work. I worked on commercials, television and feature films. I loved learning how different theater was from film work.

After all this experience, I enrolled in some acting classes and learned commercials, improvisation, cold reading techniques, voice, screenwriting and scene study. I auditioned for an agent and now have representation.

All of this did not happen overnight. It took years of studying, learning and working on my craft. Now I know acting looks easy but it really is not. Unless of course you look great and get on a crappy show, which there are a lot of on TV these days. These are what I call the dumbing down of America TV shows.

Now I have my share of working for free. I have paid my dues people. No more free student films, no more PSA's (public service announcements). No more free print ads. I am a professional actor & writer and I deserve to be paid a decent wage for my efforts.

This country was made strong by Unions. The corporations would love it if everyone worked for free or slave labor because they get richer on the working man's back. People fought hard to be represented by Unions because Unions get people a fair amount of pay for doing a good job. They make sure that you have safe working conditions.

As an actor with a disability, this means a lot of support. If I work on a SAG job, the Union makes sure that there is a medical personnel person on hand at the set. They make sure that I get a chair to sit on so I am not standing in the hot sun forever. We get a shady area to be seated. We get meals. We get a restroom facility. You would think that these items would not be a luxury but a necessity. And yet, non-union projects don't care about these items.

If we work over 8 hours, there is a guarantee that we will receive overtime. If the film or production runs over 12 hours, more money. And they have to pay you within a certain time frame like within 2 weeks. On non-union projects, you can wait 1 month or 2 months to get paid. This happened to me recently.

And so, no more Mr. Nice Guy. I refuse to work on non-union projects. If you want a professional actor like me, pay me accordingly. I've paid my dues and I have earned the right to join a professional union like SAG.

And for those people who want to bust up unions, do your homework on the industrial revolution. Unions help people. Corporations are greedy like Wall Street.

Sometimes You Have to Get Away

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It's been very slow out there people. Only had 1 audition in the last two weeks. Yikes! A girl has to eat, ya know? Since it was slow I took some time to get away to Long Beach, CA. I always enjoy getting out for a bit and I had a nice time.

I went to one of my favorite places, the Museum of Latin American Art (MOLAA). They are having an exhibit from the artist Felipe Ehrenberg. Very interesting work and I believe he said the following quote: "I paint in the land I dream in which is Mexico". The admission was only $9 and the parking is free. I believe if you go on Sunday there is free admission. Can't beat that, can you? If you would like more information, check out their website: www.molaa.org I even went to their gift shop and purchased a beautiful purse, which I love already. And, I almost purchased yet another book on Frida Kahlo.

I spoke with my friend Victor today. And my other actor friend, Andy Arias just worked 2 days on the Fresh Beat Band. That is a show for kiddies on Nickelodeon. Really great crew and nice cast members. They film on the Paramount Studios lot. I really enjoyed working that show. So keep an eye out for Andy. Some of you may recall that I interviewed Andy on Latino LA.

After a few days in Long Beach I was ready to come home. But on the way home I knew there was nothing in the fridge so I stopped by a sushi resturant. Only in southern CA can you walk into a restaurant and find one table of 14 Latinos eating Japanese food. The other table had 10 Latinos and a few caucasians dining separately at the sushi bar. I came in by my lonesome and was seated at a table. I was deciding on which sushi to try when a tune by Janet Jackson was on the speakers. It struck me as really funny that this crowd was so eclectic. And that is what America is all about people.

I can't watch American politics on CNN anymore and even worse on FOX. I get too riled up. I know our President isn't perfect but he is trying to do a good job. I just wish the Democrats would rally behind him and surround him with the covered wagons like they did in the old western days. Because the GOP sure have their fingers pointed at him for everything from immigration to social security to the war in Afghanistan and the oil spill that BP caused. Yes, I know that is his job as President but I thought we voted our members in Congress to help the President not just criticize him and stop everything he is trying to accomplish. Remember our last President? There was no dissent. If you disagreed with him and criticized him, you were either arrested or no one ever heard from you again. WTF, and that's all I have to say about that.

Okay, now polio news!!!! I made an appointment to go to Rancho Los Amigos. Now for those of you who don't know, it is one of the finest rehabilitation centers in the country for polio survivors, like me. And, for spinal cord injuries. Everyone was in a wheelchair except for the staff and me. I felt very lucky to be able to still walk. I did not wear my leg braces to my appointment and I kinda got yelled at about that. But, I did bring them and they were in my car. So I had to go get them and put them on. The doctor ordered a swallow test and a sleep test for me. I did not get anything for the pain (darn) and was told if I wear my leg braces everyday like I am supposed to do, then I won't be hurting so much.

Okay, so I know some of you friends out there have the same thing. So how do you lose weight when you are in a wheelchair? I have to lose some weight. Not because of my health, okay maybe a little bit because of my health but mostly because I am an actor and need to look good. I am ready to tape up my mouth so I won't be able to eat anymore. Just kidding. You know I love my food. So now I am going to have to go on the Cook Yourself Thin diet. You know the receipes are free too. Just google cook yourself thin receipes and you will see these yummy recipes. So, seriously if you can recommend something for me, please do. I'm counting on you, my peeps. And if you haven't signed on a follower, please do so. Gracias, amigos!

The Evaluation

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He called me into his office and I had no idea why. Why would the Community Development Director call a 17 year old into his office? It turns out that it was time for my work evaluation. At the time I was going to a vocational high school. Our school had a program where business leaders worked with the school to hire and train high school seniors for the real work program. We were taught a certain field such as business management. By the time we were seniors we had all of the school curriculum completed and a job lined up. We went to school then we went to work for several hours. We earned money and learned how to become a real employee. After the completion of the program, but before graduation, we received an evaluation. This evaluation was then forwarded to the school for credit units. Sometimes the employer would ask the student to remain with their company. And sometimes not. Now back to my story.

I sat down on one of the two red leather seats which faced his enormous desk. He closed the door, and sat down. He folded his hands and peered at me behind huge glasses. He had thick gray hair and wore a dark suit.

I was nervous so I smiled. I always smiled back then. "Keep your head down" my father would always say. "Smile, so they don't know what you're thinking".

He looked at me and told me that I had no character, no diligence. He proceeded to tell me that I was a drifter, drifting through life. My parents, he said, were drifters and so was I. What was diligence? I didn't know what that meant and so maybe he was right. I'm sure I looked confused and my smile quickly faded away. I felt myself shrinking into that red leather chair.

As if that whole experience wasn't bad enough, this jerk happened to live right next door to us. Every morning he would go out the door, pick up his morning paper and say a pleasant hello to my father. But now I knew what he really thought of us, the large Mexican family who moved next door to him.

Their lawn was meticulous. The edging, perfection. They had a large german shepherd dog. We had a small yappy terrior. We even had a rooster in the backyard. Boy, he must have loved that.

And while I sat in his office I knew that what he was really telling me was that I wasn't good enough to date his blonde haired, blue eyed Polish son. The same son that went to the same catholic grade school that I attended. We practically grew up together. There were snowball fights and touch football games and water balloon fights. And while his son was filling out college applications to one of the elite schools, we were trying to figure out how to pay the mortgage this month. And that is why when I turned 16, I didn't get a sweet 16 birthday party. My parents drove me to some office where I got a work permit to work. My job was to help my parents. There were 8 of us plus Mom & Dad.

I left his office a little shaken, but a little wiser too. People may smile to your face and still have hatred in their heart. It took awhile, many years in fact, but I learned that I will never let anyone make me feel that small again.

To thine own self be true

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I have been very introspective lately and I started thinking about people in my life who are no longer in my life. Sometimes it is very painful to eliminate someone from your life and sometimes you know it is the right thing to do.

I had a friend in my life and she seemed so wonderful. She was so confident and so brave. She went where ever she wanted to go. She had lots of female friends. She seemed to be everything that I wanted to be but never had the nerve to be. She didn't have any sisters, unlike me. She was single. We talked for so many nights and we shared so many things with each other. One thing I did love her for was the fact that I confided to her that I had so many things I wanted to do with my life. Things like acting and writing and singing and traveling. She encouraged me to write. She encouraged me to sing and actually loved my singing. We traveled together and I thought we had the most wonderful friendship. But then I saw that sometimes she was manipulative. And her boyfriend it turns out, was hitting on all her friends. When I told her some things about her boyfriend that I noticed that were not pleasant, well she ended our friendship in a bad way. I know that she will be successful in whatever she tries to do.

For me, I did learn to enjoy the things I always wanted to do. I started writing again and was hired to be a contributing writer for a magazine. I started going on auditions and started booking roles. I started singing again with a local women's chorus. I started travelling and found that I still really love to travel. I gained a confidence and freedom that I never thought possible. I started submitting stories and they were getting published. I had the confidence to go and audition for projects. And sometimes I would get the parts and sometimes I didn't. But I know I am a winner because I try.

Do I regret our friendship? Not at all. It kinda feels like the Tin Man. He thought he needed a heart from the Wizard of Oz. But he had a heart all along. He just didn't know it.

And I know me. I was always afraid that being a wife and a mother was all the world was going to see about me. But in high school, I was a writer and an actor and someone who had lots of friends. I was in the Glee club and a dancer and in all the school plays. I imagined myself travelling to Europe and going to the most amazing parties.

And I got married and had children and they came first. My husband and my kids came first and some how I got lost. I lost myself. And I became shy and introverted. I became lonely and a shell of the person I once was. I always worked outside the home and I was a good worker, very competent. But I wasn't doing what I loved, I was just making a living and trying to be a good Mom. But so much was missing inside of me.

And that was when I started my new job and met her. Thank you, wherever you are. You helped me find myself again. You gave me the courage to look into the mirror and see that I was buried deep down inside myself. And it was okay for me to be me. And the best thing I can do for my children is to show them to be true to yourself and go after your dreams.

And now when they see a new article that is published that I wrote, they say good job, Mom! And even if I go on an audition, they are proud of me. And I am proud of myself because this is who I am.