Sick Day

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Um, can I call in sick today? Oh yeah, I don't have a job so I don't have to call in sick. My sister Tina arrived in town with her daughter, Monica. They were both sick!!! Coughing and sneezing and blowing their noses. Yikes! I was their tour guide as they had never been to California before. The entire week they were here they were sick. I think I would have stayed home in my own bed but that is me.

I picked them up from LAX and brought them back here to my home. We went out to eat, we did some sightseeing. We went to a winery in Temecula and had a lovely lunch. We got a hotel room in LA and took Monica to Melrose for shopping. We went to Hollywood and we went to La Jolla. We had a fabulous lunch in Hillcrest and dinner in Old Town San Diego. I'm tired. And now that everyone is gone maybe I can get some much needed rest.

They do not realize that when you have polio and are driving and driving, it wears on my body and on my nerves. And then they over pack and there are 3 gals and they each forgot to bring a hairbrush. Sometimes I don't have any patience. I try not to get upset but really, do you really have to use my hairbrush?

When I travel, I like to rent a car. This way I can come and go as I please. And I like to make my own schedule. I don't like to have my hostess feel like she has to do everything for me. Oh well.

So now I am in bed surrounded by kitties, tissue box, medicine, my laptop and my remote control. Ugh, sore throat please go away!!!

Kitties, come and keep me company. It's nice to have my house back to myself again.

Lazy Sunday

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Today is a lazy Sunday. I am cleaning again because I am having guests again. Yikes! I guess April is the time to entertain family from back home who are sick to death of ice and snow. I can understand that after living in Ohio for too long. Well, Linda and Tina are coming to visit. Tina has never visited California even though we have been here for 18 years now. I guess some people are slow. And some like to spend all their money in Vegas.

I don't understand that kind of thinking. You work really hard all year. If you are lucky, you get 2 weeks paid vacation. So you save your money and you fly to Vegas and you lose all your money gambling. Why don't you just stay home and throw your money out of the car window as you are driving really fast down the freeway? It will go just as fast in Vegas.

I much prefer the hot sunny lazy days at the beach in Del Mar. Or driving down the scenic route to the La Jolla cove. Or walking down the pier in Santa Monica. Or having a fabulous seafood dinner in a nice restaurant on Santa Monica Boulevard. But I guess everyone is entitled to the way they want to live.

One of the best times I ever had was with my husband. We flew into Portland, rented a car. We were shown around town by some friends. We went boating on the water and saw all the beautiful bridges in downtown Portland. We then left and drove up to Seattle. We spend our anniversary weekend up there with some other friends. It was such a good time. The scenery was amazing and our friends were so hospitable. I've been wanting to go back up to the Northwest. The pine trees were so green and smelled so wonderful. Then you can the beautiful dark blue Pacific ocean along the coast. Amazing! But then, I really missed the warm weather and the palm trees. I missed the casual, easy going nature of the people in California. There is something very special about saying you are from Southern California.

One thing I didn't miss was the darn traffic. The frenetic fast-paced traffic. Like a million little ants all trying to get somewhere in a hurry. Ugh!!!

But today is a lazy Sunday. I hear an owl hooting in the afternoon. There is a slight warm breeze coming through my window. And the smell of the calla lilies is amazing. I have to run to the store to pick up some nice wine, cheese and crackers for a little snack. I look forward to seeing family again.

My life has changed so much these past few years. I am at peace. Life is a little slower but much fuller. I don't take anything for granted anymore. I value my friends and my family. I value the work I have been getting. I study hard and try to give 150%. I learn new things everyday. And one of the things I've learned is sometimes you have to know when to let go. You have to move on with your life. It's a lazy Sunday -- and I wouldn't change one thing in my life right now. I am peaceful and happy.

Oye Vey!

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It's been crazy ever since Sunday. Mom and Dad arrived safely into LAX. I picked them up and brought them home with me. It's so nice to see them again. They rested on Monday and Tuesday. On Wednesday we filmed my scenes in the film, Lean Like A Cholo. It was a really funny scene. I play a blind, old woman. And wow they changed my hair to totally gray. And I wore an old lady nightgown. Hilarious! I heard from the Director today who said I was great in the film. Hey, as long as he is happy then I am happy!

On Thursday, I played tour guide and showed them all around San Diego. They always love coming to San Diego. And I wanted to take them on a studio tour here in LA but they wanted to hit the road and go to Vegas.

My brother has them for the next two weeks. They always love being with him as he spoils them so. That is fine because I have auditions to go to -- kitties to take care of -- and an acting class here and there.

One of my fellow actor friends from the Starbucks commercial contacted me today but I couldn't talk to him as I was driving to Vegas. Don't want to get a moving violation ticket.

Wow, all of a sudden I am tired. I love having guests but it's nice to relax when they leave too. This weekend will be hot, we are expecting 90 degrees. So time to open up all the windows -- and enjoy the smell of the sweet roses.

Time to study my lines for an audition tomorrow!!!

Travel

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Do you like to travel? I love it, I love to explore new cities. I would love to travel to San Francisco, one of my favorite cities. My parents are travelling to come see me and to visit my brother in Las Vegas. I am excited to see them again. I haven't seen them in almost one year. I talk to my family every week though. So they know all the craziness that is my life right now.

And then next week, two of my sisters are coming to visit me. I love to play tour guide. I just don't like to pay for everything. So I hope that they will step up to the plate and help with expenses. I don't mind them staying in the guest room. I don't mind that they don't rent a car and I will have to be their driver. But I do mind when I have to pick up their entertainment tab. So I am going to stay positive that we will all have a wonderful time and they will pay for their own entertainment.

I am going to LA to pick up Mom & Dad from the airport. And then I am working on a film on Wednesday. I have a 7 am call time. I am told that I will be working only for a few hours.

Oh and I am still seeing my Starbucks commercial on TV. If you really want to watch it then watch the CBS morning news in its entirety. I've been seeing the entire commercial on there and sometimes I see a shorter version (probably 30 second commercial) on CBS too. Yay!

I checked with my agent and she said it's very slow right now and that accounts for no auditions lately. Oh well, gotta keep my spirits up and concentrate on my acting skills. I have also taken some new head shots which I will put up on the internet soon. From what I saw, they look amazing. I am so pleased with my photographer. He is very good, a friend of mine and I felt totally relaxed and comfortable with him. And the difference between the photos I took last year and the new ones are amazing. It just goes to show just because someone has a camera and the skills does not mean that they are any good.

Well, I'd better get up and get some coffee so I can start my day. I still have some last minute cleaning to do. I have to run to the grocery store and stock up my fridge. I have to wash my car and fill up my gas tank. I love to have visitors. One thing though, while it is wonderful having family visits, it is very difficult to say hasta luego. I try not to get too close to people because they all go away eventually.

Don't Rain On My Parade

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Every time someone tells me I can't do something, I feel breaking out into song like Fanny Brice and start singing, "Don't Rain On My Parade". I was watching the ending of the film, Dead Poets Society and I felt so badly for the young man who commits suicide at the end. His father wanted him to go to med school and become a doctor. The young man was an artist and wanted to be an actor. I felt so much empathy for him because I know how it feels to want to get up there on that stage and just perform. We do it for free. We do it because we love our craft and work so hard to get better and better to earn the right to be up there on that stage.

I remember once when my mother-in-law and her mother were in my kitchen. They both said you want to be an actor? And they just laughed. I wanted to kick them both out of my kitchen for disrespecting me and my dreams. At first I was hurt. But then I got angry. I felt the anger rise up in my throat like bile. I swallowed it but I did not swallow my dreams.

I received a phone call today from a friend who has cast me in his latest film. No audition -- just I wrote this character for you and I want you in my film. It's a small role, only 3 pages of dialog but that is okay with me. It's a very character driven role and I am looking forward to it. We film on Friday!!!

I saw my Starbucks commercial on television again this morning on CBS. It was so cool. When I went to my dentist this morning I told all the girls about it and they were excited for me. One even said, oh we have a celebrity here! I just laughed.

Well, lots to do -- lines to learn and I am finishing preparation of chicken cacciatore for dinner. Then I will relax and watch part 2 of The Kennedys. I sure hope it's better than part 1.

Never, never let anyone rain on your parade. For years when someone would try to disrespect me or my dreams I would just look at them like they were crazy. Because my dreams are not crazy. My dreams are my dreams. And they should be respected.

Spirituality

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I was reading some information about actor Ben Foster. He is a hard-working, determined young actor and I am one of his fans. I enjoy his work on the HBO series, Six Feet Under. He was very good on the film 3:10 to Yuma.

I was thinking about The Secret and Abundant Living. Basically I do believe that what you think about you bring about. So if you are thinking negative thoughts, you will bring negative things into your life. If you think positive things and speak positively, you will bring positive things. Of course you have to do the work. You can't just sit around thinking good scripts and good parts will come to you. You have to be ready and prepare for when those good scripts become available to you. You have to train and keep sharp.

I try to be generous whenever I can. I find that when you are generous, it comes back to you tenfold. It really does. I'm not talking about giving your last dollar to the homeless guy at the end of the freeway. But I am talking about being generous in spirit. At the end of the day, you'll be able to look in the mirror and like how you feel.

Yesterday, I was cleaning and cleaning. It felt so good to throw things out, dust and scrub. I love the clean smell of bleach. I love the feel of my bare feet on squeaky clean tile floors. It feels good to vacuum and dust all the dust bunnies away!

Ever since I was a pre-teenager I've loved the clean smell of soap. I give soap away as gifts all the time. I love how anytime you get soap and water together you get clean, lovely things. Change the sheets, use bleach on whites! It's a wonderful feeling. I love lace and cotton. I love white towels that are fluffy. I love hot bubble baths and clean mirrors.

I hope I didn't overdo it yesterday. Nothing is worse than overdoing it and then paying for it the next day. Then you have to stay in bed all day like a vegetable. I've done that and I hate it. But I've been using my CPAP machine and have been getting some good sleep. I can be so stubborn sometimes. I haven't used my machine for awhile and sure enough, I wasn't sleeping well. The next few days were groggy and lethargic. I even started choking again when I was eating and choking in my sleep. I realized I have the power to change that, just by using my machine which was ordered by my doctor. Oh, that stubbornness has got to go!

It's all about taking your medicine. The truth is I have a disability. And that disability is not going to magically go away. I have to learn to live with it whether I like it or not. I will pace myself. I can get up and do laundry and then rest. I can mop a floor and then rest. I can take a nap in the middle of the day if my body says I need a nap. I can eat small meals throughout the day instead of three large meals. I can drink more water. I can write letters instead of talking on the phone.

I may more choices than I think I do. I can work smarter and not harder and therefore save my body, save my strength. Taking care of your body is essential. Brush your hair, brush your teeth. Floss -- watch your food intake. Eat healthier, these are things I have control over. I owe it to myself to take care of myself every day.

Praying is asking for something. Meditation is sitting still long enough to hear the answers and letting the world speak to me. It speaks to me in volumes if only I am patient enough to listen.