Throwback Thursday

I am so thankful to have a really good day today.  If you are on Facebook, be sure to send me a friend request to my FB page Lisa A Zion.  I love that they have Throwback Thursday for everyone to dig into their old photos and show everyone what they looked like back in the day.

I have an 8 x 10 black and white photo of myself that was taken many years ago by a photographer friend.  I was dating my boyfriend at the time and he is now my hubby.  His band was taking outdoor photos in downtown Toledo, Ohio (where we were living back then).  We were all taking a break on a lovely Saturday afternoon and after walking around downtown for awhile we stopped so sit in the grass of the beautiful old courthouse.  So I have made this photo my profile photo here and on Facebook.  Such a happy time and it brought back some lovely memories.  

Now to change the subject.  I went to see my favorite hairdresser today in Temecula.  Now my hair looks lovely again.  I told her that when I become rich and famous I will take her to Hollywood with me!  We were supposed to go to LA tonight but hubby decided he didn't want to go after all. It was just as well because I was pretty wiped out and fell asleep at 6:00 p.m.

Most of you may know that I am a polio survivor.  What this means is ever since I had gotten polio it has always been with me.  It never goes away and there is no cure.  When the polio epidemic hit our country there was a massive scramble to find a cure.  Some kids and adults got bad batches of the polio shot.  To this day my parents don't exactly know how I got it and why my other siblings did not.  But, I was an infant and I'm sure my immune system was down and maybe that is why I got it.  So now that I am older, I have noticed things like being forgetful.  I do use tools though to help me remember.  Thank goodness for Outlook, my iphone and post-it notes!

So tonight was a night where my body just crashed.  When I was younger I would fight it.  But now I know that if my body says "rest", I'd better listen and rest.  Sure enough, I feel better now.  It is a strange feeling though because all of a sudden my body will just shut down and then I realize that 2 hours have gone by.  

Being a disabled actor can be a challenge. There are many of us in Hollywood. There are actors that are blind, deaf, missing limbs, little people and people with mobility issues.  We don't want to be treated differently; we just want to be able to audition and show what we can do too.  I am a trained Actor and a proud member of SAG-AFTRA.  I am proud of my accomplishments and I do want to do more work.  It really gets my goat when actors without disabilities are hired to act as characters with disabilities.  We are working with the powers that be to try to change that.  It is a challenge, sometimes.  But I continue on.  

I count my blessings everyday.  I had a good day at work, I got my hair done, got some much needed rest and I am headed to Las Vegas this weekend.  Life is good!  

Want to see some of my work?  Well you can find me on You Tube or just Google my name.  You can even read some of my previously published articles when I interviewed celebrities for Latino LA.

Ciao!

I'm Mad as Hell...

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I am writing in blue because I am blue. I'm mad as hell and I don't know how much of this I can take anymore. I was in so much pain because of the pps and again I took a hot bath, tried to relax and now I am on the couch again. I hate this. I have so much to do. I am surrounded by two remotes for the television, a book, two writing tablets, no pen, my cellphone, a glass of lemonade, some moisturizing lotion and a pillow for my back. Where is that damn pen?

Thank goodness for laptops and the Internet. I am at least able to connect with the outside world. I do miss my sisters and I wish one of them were here to help me take care of myself. I was reduced to yelling for my husband (again). I needed help to get out of the tub and getting dressed in a house coat. For younger readers a house coat is a cotton sleeping gown, very unglamourous and unsexy. He hates when I wear it, I like it. It's soft and cozy and when you are in pain, you don't feel sexy.

I have just taken a pain pill which will make me drowsy in about one hour. I feel like taking two or three. Pain, pain go away! I am reminded of that self portrait of Frida Kahlo called the Little Deer. There is a little deer running in the forest and it has been hit by numerous arrows in its tiny body. It sheds a tear because it is in such pain. I remember when I was a little girl I told my mother I wish I had extra feet. She wondered what I meant but I told her I wish I could take these feet off (cause they hurt so much) and could put on some new feet that were ready to go. My new feet would be all charged up like a battery and they could take me wherever I wanted to go and I wouldn't be in any pain anymore.

My house has a step from the living room to the hallway towards the bathroom and bedrooms. Every day I go up and down that damn step. By the end of the evening, I am hobbling up that damn step and holding onto the wall for support. I'm mad as hell!

Okay, enough of a pity party. I haven't heard anything yet from the audition last week. I hope I do because it is an exciting gig. I know you are wondering how can she do it? Well, for now I use my heating pad and some pain meds. We polio survivors are very strong and determined to work hard and be our best at whatever we do. So I am not worried about it. Keep your fingers crossed for me!

I did decide not to audition for "Jesus Christ, Superstar" and "Evita". Two of my fave shows of all time. But I know I cannot do night after night of rehearsals and shows for no $$$. I have heard from my director though, and I am filming for two weekends in March. Yay!!! He wanted me to work on March 5 (my birthday) but I am not filming on my birthday. I am relaxing on my birthday. I want to go sailing on my birthday. I want to eat lobster on my birthday. I want to have a drink and party on my birthday. I don't want to film for an 8 - 10 - or 12 hour day!

God, where are my sisters? I wish I had one of them here with me to help me. But they all have their own lives so I bet they wouldn't want to help me. It would be very "Baby Jane" with me lying in bed or on the sofa or in the wheelchair. And my sister doing the cooking and the cleaning. She would be Jane and I would be Blanche. I can see it now! Oh, if I wasn't in this wheelchair! But you are Blanche, you are! Yikes!

My sister is getting a divorce. And she is working at a medical facility. And she has been trained as a certified nursing assistant. She would be perfect. But she has this big dog that is dying and he takes up half her living room. Would she like living in my California home? I have an extra bedroom and bathroom. I could get her a television with free cable. All she would have to do is do the shopping, cooking and cleaning. I wonder? Maybe I'll give her a call. Maybe she could help me out of the tub and help me get dressed.

She could sit out by the pool and have a glass of wine with me. I wouldn't be too much trouble. I know I wouldn't be too much trouble. I am excellent company, I'm very quiet. We could watch movies together. I think I'll give her a call. Would you like to relocate to sunny California? Post-polio syndrome is no fun.

Callback

What a day I've had today! I had a callback today for a SAG national commercial. It was early morning and if you know me you know I am not a morning person. But I woke up early, took a bubble bath and got ready. I'm supposed to look really, really nice like a trophy wife. So that means nice hair, nice clothes and definitely time for the false eyelashes. So I looked good, grabbed my folder which had directions and extra headshots just in case they are needed.
I put on extra moisturizer and I'm glad because the temp today was 81 degrees! Traffic was horrible and even though I left in plenty of time, by the time I arrived I only had 5 minutes before my call time to run to the ladies room and do a quick touch up of lipstick and rehearsing my lines.

They sat me with 2 guys who would audition with me. One was a distinguished older gentleman who would play my husband and the other guy was a younger fellow. Both were very nice looking and Latino also. In a few moments they called us in and we did our thing. Now because this was a callback, other folks were in the room. Don't know who they were but I didn't want to get nervous thinking about them. I just wanted to concentrate on why I was there and do my job.

I started to get nervous then I reminded myself that I have been onstage many times in the past doing live performances. This was a piece of cake! So we did our thing and guess what? It was probably the best audition I've ever had. I am feeling really good about my performance and this reminds me why I love acting. Plus I haven't a callback in forever so I felt good about that too.

It's funny how you know if you had a bad audition (Dexter) or a good one (Capital One). You just know, you don't have to wait for feedback from your agent.

Well, I have a new follower. Hello to Ernie! Thanks for chatting with me the other evening. It was great to catch up with you.

Oh oh, starting to get really hungry for dinner and I am craving my homemade fried chicken and mashed potatoes. I was so good at lunch eating a light salad, soup and drinking water. I'm going to lose weight if it kills me! Anyone know anything about Isogenix? A friend of mine is selling this stuff and says I should get a 30 day supply but $300 is a little much for me right now.

Why does everything have to be so crazy right now? I had two tickets to go to a screening of a film with Mark Ruffalo. I had plans to be with my friend Andy and have dinner. And I had to cancel because my legs were bad! I don't understand it. I got up early, took a nice bath. I went to the hairdressers who did a wonderful job of making me look gorgeous. And then I came home. And as the afternoon went on, my energy just left. I was cold, lethargic and could not walk at all. It was pretty scary. Now for my post polio buddies out there you know what I'm talking about. I was so mad because I was supposed to sit in on a Q & A with Mark Ruffalo after the show. And I haven't seen Andy in awhile and we were really looking forward to spending some time together and catching up. But Andy has cerebral palsy and is in a wheelchair and he knows how bad pps can get. He said he would pray that I would feel better soon. So sweet! And sure enough I talked to him today and he said you sound so much better already.

So hey folks, if you believe in prayer -- please say a little prayer for me. This job that I had a callback today would mean so much for my career. Thank you, Jesus! Amen!

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A National Commercial would be amazing!

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Well, what a week! Three auditions -- almost four! I auditioned with my friend Victor for a print ad. We are still waiting to see if we get a callback. Then I received a call to be at another casting office but could I make it in 1 hour? No way. I asked them if I could come Friday morning but they said no. Then my agent from Daily Talent called and I had another audition Friday afternoon. This was for a SAG national commercial at Alyson Horn casting. So I had the I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant audition Friday morning and the other commercial audition Friday afternoon. Whew! Tired but it felt good to go on these auditions. The more you audition the more comfortable you get and the better you audition. A national commercial would be amazing. That is what I need right now!!!

I've been invited to several screenings. The first is the new Harry Potter film. I am looking forward to going. I asked for an extra ticket and they said yes! Who wants to be my date??? And then SAG is doing a free screening of a film called Reel Injun at the Museum of Tolerance. I also get an extra ticket for that screening. Should be good!

I think I'll do some writing this weekend. I have been reading on the Polio Today site and it gets me depressed. Yikes, I feel sad that some of the members have been going through so many difficulties. But it is nice to go in there and ask a question to someone who is going through the same thing or something similar. Sometimes I wonder if these tweaks are all in my head. Like the other night I was so tired and I didn't overdo it. I just was so tired and it was only 8:30 pm but I couldn't take another step or keep my eyes open. I figured my body is tired and I'm getting my rest. Sure enough, the next morning I felt refreshed. Wouldn't it be great if people had a reboot button? We could just shut it down for the night, no thoughts. No dreams, just out like a light. Then in the morning we would be full of energy and ready to go. I swear I wish I had bionic legs. Then my legs and feet could take me wherever I wanted to go. I could do all the things that other people can do. Like roller skate, ice skating, and dancing. I miss dancing so much. Now maybe I can dance one dance, then I get tired and I have to sit for the remainder of the evening. But my friends who are in wheelchairs tell me I am lucky to stand and walk. So yes, I am grateful.

Now my hands and arms are starting to hurt and I have headaches everyday. I know I am lucky that I was not in the iron lung. And I know I should be wearing my leg braces every day. But I want to go, go, go! And my body says, I don't think so. I'm trying to eat healthier. I remember reading that those of us who have PPS need protein everyday. Eggs, peanut butter, nuts, cottage cheese. I've been cutting down on portions too so hopefully that will help. Nothing like being overweight and sitting in a wheelchair. No fun and it doesn't look sexy either.

Like my new photo? Well I was feeling good and wanted to try a new look. I may look confident but actually I'm quite shy. It takes awhile for me to get to know you. But once I feel good, I'm actually quite funny. I am all business but once I let my hair down, I am actually quite nerdy. Some people look right past me. And that's okay, because I am a silent observer of life. And it's my job as an actor to observe real life. And it's my job as a writer to imagine. And according to Janis Ian, it is our job as an artist to be true to ourselves. I always wondered why I felt different from everyone in my family and from my friends. And it is because I am an artist. And we know each other. We know it before we even see it or say it. It's a beautiful community of artists and that is why we seek each other out.

copyright 2010

PPS - It's Not for Wimps!

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PPS: Post-Polio Syndrome is what I have and it is definitely not for wimps. I had polio when I was 9 months old. I know this because my parents told me so. I have never known what it was like not to have polio in my life. Yes, polio has been eradicated from the United States but it is still in the world in third world nations.

I try not to think about it. One of the things I read about polio is that it affects all the nerves not just the nerves in your legs. I try not to overdo it but it is difficult when you want to do so much. I can always tell when I'm going to have a bad day. First, I get cold. Then I get headaches, then my legs don't work. So I try to stay warm with hot baths, warm clothing. And sometimes I will have an electric heating pad on my legs.

Also, I try to keep a notepad around. Another symptom of pps is being forgetful. I can be in the living room and need something from my car. I will walk into the garage and by the time I've gotten there, I forgot what I was going to get from the car. It's horrible. Most of you may know that I was a mortgage loan officer for almost 5 years. I resigned my position last year. I could tell that my memory was going and I felt that I could no longer function as well. Loan documents are very important and I did not want to take a risk with important financial documents.

When it comes to auditions, well that is another story. I love to read. I am an avid reader. I usually read 2 or 3 books at a time. When I was a little girl, I couldn't really keep up with my brothers & sisters. So, I stayed indoors and I read books. When you grow up in Ohio, many months are rainy and wintery. So books can take you away to wonderful places. I believe that books helped my vocabulary and my imagination. Back to auditions, I can memorize an entire script. And then I will have an audition and forget the entire paragraph. How is this possible?

I was officially diagnosed with post polio syndrome. I was shocked. I only went to the doctor because I noticed changes in my sleep patterns, energy level, headaches and of course, leg pain. I was hoping to get a prescription and then leave because I hate hospitals. I was there for several hours and met with a doctor, a physical therapist and an orthopedist.

I was told my legs are getting weaker and so are my arms. I was measured and fitted for leg braces and made another appointment to come back for a wheelchair evaluation. I was told I would need and should get a wheelchair. My head was rushing, my head was reeling. Thank goodness I was sitting down because I probably would have fainted. I had no idea that all these many years later of trying to keep up with everyone else, I was hurting my body.

I was all alone with these medical experts whose specialty is polio. Out of the depths of this despair, I wrote "Frida & Me". So now yes, I sit here in my bed and try to stay warm. I sit here with my cat by my side and my trusty laptop. I am supposed to be in Los Angeles this morning to attend a seminar with guest casting director, Lisa Pantone. I was supposed to go to the theater this evening to watch "Frida" at the Frida Kahlo theater. I am in bed and this is where I will stay for the next 2 days. Can you say, "this sucks!"

I am saddened that people don't know how difficult this is for me. I have always been a very independent person. I lived at home with my parents till I was 21 years old. I had never been on a plane. Our large family always went everywhere together like church, out to dinner, to the park, etc. When I was 19, I went to London all by myself. I was working as a secretary at Owens-Illinois. I got my passport and took a trip to see all the things I'd always read about in books. I have a fascination with English history and American history.

When I call people and say that I miss them and want to see them, it is because I miss them and I want to see them. And I am amazed how many people tell me that when they have some time they will call me back and we can schedule a time to get together. Of course I don't tell them that I am lying in bed and just to get to the other room can be a struggle.

Thank goodness for my trusty laptop. Thank goodness for my cat that keeps me company. Thank goodness for my husband who looks out for me and does what he can for me. I think he thinks if I take some daily aspirin that the pain will go away. Maybe demerol, or morphine but not aspirin. Nope, not aspirin.

I know I should be grateful. I don't have cerebral palsy like my friend, Andy. Most days I can walk and drive. But on days like today when I have so much to do and my body says, no way! Well, it is frustrating and it pisses me off.

I remember when I was a little girl I told my mother that I wish I had extra legs. You know, like extra shoes. When my legs would get tired and failed to work I could just take them off and put on new legs and keep going. But now I need new shoulders and new arms and a new neck to hold my head up. PPS is not for wimps.

I will take a hot bath and get dressed. I will make myself some breakfast. I will read my new book and perhaps look at some old photos. I will watch a movie and much later when my husband returns from teaching, we can make lunch. I will try to be strong for him. I want to be here for him. I feel like a shell of the woman I once was. Damn polio, I hate you.

Boxing with God

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I had a wonderful time working on a low-budget SAG film over the weekend. The casting agent contacted me early last week. I spoke with the producer on the same day and she booked me as one of the 10 angels. We got to play in heaven and we fought with God.

It was great to see some of my friends again. Some of us had worked together last year on the national commercial "Santa" for Capital One. And I met some new mates, too. Everyone was a little person. It was fun to see my fellow actor friends work. Some of them have been working quite a bit; others not so much.

Part of being an actor is not being afraid to take chances. So, I got to dress in full army gear, crawled in the mud, shot paintball rifles and was shot at. We were running in the woods, hiding behind trees, and shooting rifles. It was awesome. I hung in there with the guys and it was great.

The next day we were in full angel attire including wings. We were like children, playing with toys. I had a blast watching my friends perform using green screen technology. I was able to bring out the little girl in me and just laugh, play and have a good time.

We had very long days and after the first day all I wanted to do was go home and soak in the hot bubble bath and go to bed. Driving around downtown LA with all the lights and leaving the studio was awesome. I had to pinch myself.

My agent was very pleased that I got this job. Hopefully it will turn into more work in the future. The team was amazing, they made sure we were all comfortable, they had chairs for us, water at all times. They were great, I wish all of our projects were like this.

POLIO Store Now Open

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I am very excited because I just opened an online store for Polio survivors. My store has merchandise such as tee shirts, golf shirts, baseball caps, license plate holders, etc. I would like to bring about an awareness of Polio and the fact that thousands contracted polio. Polio is not something you overcome. It stays with you till the day you die. For those who contracted polio, they must live with this everyday. There are others who never received the initial diagnosis of polio. They may not even be aware that they had it.

My intent is to bring about awareness and in turn, educate the public. The March of Dimes was actually started as a public fundraiser to help bring money in for research and to help find a cure for polio.

There are some polio support groups out there. And there are organizations like POLIO Today that help polio survivors connect through information on the web. You can even upload a video and tell your own story.

My online store is through Cafe Press and my link http://www.cafepress.com/69442395
I want to use a portion of sales to help our local polio support group. Thank you for reading this blog and by checking out my site!