Hello Again!

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Hello again from la la land. Well in case I have any new followers out there, this is for you. I have been writing for about four years for an online magazine called Latino LA. My first assignment from my editor was to interview Dexter star, David Zayas. It was a telephone interview and it went great. Then I met him in person when I was sent to cover the red carpet for Lifetime: Little Girl Lost.

At that time I met stars Marlene Forte, Hector Luis Bustamante and David. I also met actor A. Martinez. He was very nice. If you want to see my interview, you can watch it on You Tube. It has over 16,000 hits! Not bad for my first interview. Of course I had no camera man so I took many photos. And put together a video of the event.

This blog was started because I know how difficult it is to start in show biz. And believe me when I first started going on auditions in Hollywood I made many mistakes. But I learned. And I started taking acting classes and I started networking and making friends. Now granted, my friends are actors too so we all struggle together and support each other.

So when you hear that Latinos don't support each other -- consider the source. It is not true. I have also watched Herbert Siguenza perform onstage many times. He is one of the founding members of the group, Culture Clash. They are wonderful!!! I have taken some classes from Herbie. I have interviewed Herbie. I have gone to many of his performances and he always blows me away with his intensity.

There are many people who have helped me along the way. Folks who have given me tips on head shots, acting teachers and even my agent. I have been very blessed. And performers are like gypsies. Every time you get a job, we rejoice. And then we are back to looking for another job through the audition process. It's nerve wracking but essential. And the sooner you learn how to make your nerves work for you instead of against you, then the sooner you can go about the process of doing a great audition and booking the job.

And there is nothing like getting that phone call from your agent to tell you that you booked the job!!! Even beyond a paycheck, it is about knowing that you went in there and did your best and they chose me!

So the best advice I can give right now is, look at the trades. Read what is going on in this industry right now. Not what was going on last Fall or last year. What is going on right this minute and in the next few weeks? What show got cancelled? What do you want to do? Theater? Television? Commercials? Film? What can you do? What skills do you have? Do you need more training? Are you getting auditions but not booking anything? How old are your head shots?

Whew! I'm tired already. So believe me, I have been there and done that. I have learned what to do and what not to do. And if you would like more assistance, then leave me a comment and let me know how I can help. Good luck or as we say in Espanol, buena suerte!

Dear Shaun

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It is with sadness that I must say that a friend has passed away. His name was Shaun and he lived across the street from us. He was the same age as my daughter. Shaun was born on March 17, St. Patrick's Day. He was tall and thin and had an easy smile.

I have come to know many if not all of my children's friends and I always remember them just like when they first came into our lives. When his family moved into the neighborhood, I think he was happy to find that he was not the only teen on our block. And sure enough, he started to attend the same school as my daughter.

They became fast friends and he was always coming over and frequently had dinner with us too. To me he was like a beautiful little puppy, just wanting to be loved. He fought frequently with his new stepmom and I think he would have been very happy if I adopted him. I did call him and several other boys, my "other sons". I think he liked that.

He ran away frequently and I heard that for awhile he was living under a bridge. I don't know if he got involved with drugs and drinking, but he probably did. I heard that he joined the Army or the National Guard. He was sent overseas and fought in Irag. I wrote to him several times and he wrote back. He seemed so lost and lonely. I often wondered if he joined so he could have some clean clothes and a meal every day. It broke my heart to see that he was so lost.

As life goes on, I cared for my own children and I truly don't believe they understand how hard life is until they are on their own. I have always tried to be here for them and have always told them they could talk to me about anything.

My daughter and Shaun lost touch with each other over the years. About two months ago, we were in the car. I was driving and not really paying attention to what was going on around me. There was a young man holding up a sign at the end of the freeway. As I proceeded into the intersection my daughter said, "oh my God, that was Shaun". I said are you sure? And she said yes, that he looked right at us and then lowered his head. I said, should I turn around and go back? And she said, no -- he probably wouldn't want us to see him like that. I was confused because I wanted to see him and talk with him. But then, what if he were on drugs and what if he was a potential threat to my daughter? Well, I have to keep her safe and her safety was my main concern. I kept driving.

I should have followed my instincts and turned the car around. I should have taken Shaun home with us. I could have given him a hot meal and a hot shower. I could have maybe guided him in a better path than the one he was currently walking through. I'll never know if I could have made a difference.

A month later Shaun died somewhere in Maryland. How? We don't know. My daughter received word just the other day that Shaun was gone. She looked up his obituary on the internet and there was his photo. He was in his military uniform and he looked, well, he looked scared. The article did not say how he died and so we will never know.

There are some days in your life that you wish you could take back. I wish with all my heart that I could take back that day. I wish I had turned that car around. I wish I could hold him in my arms again. I can't imagine not seeing Shaun again. I always imagined that he would finish up his 4 years in the service and come back home again. I always thought he would be a part of our lives again. I miss my "other son" and wish I could tell him how much I cared for him. Rest in peace, dear Shaun. You may not have known this, but you were deeply loved.

What a week!

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Well I had a fabulous weekend!!! On Friday evening I was invited to a comedy show at the 4th & B in downtown San Diego. My friend Rick was the host. He is a co-star in the film, Attack of the 30 Foot Chola. He set me up with VIP seating and I even walked the red carpet. It was great and I was interviewed as well.

Saturday was a quiet evening at home and on Sunday I was in LA attending a comedy acting class. It was 3 hours of great training. I don't want to be a comedian but I do want to be a better writer. And we learned the difference between being an actor vs. being a performer. Such great information and we watched video clips of great performers like Charlie Chaplin, Red Skelton and Jim Carrey.

I saw a guy yesterday who worked with me on the Starbucks commercial. He looked so familiar and I remember seeing him when we went to wardrobe. I asked him if he was a principal actor and he said yes. I didn't know that I was a principal actor too. When we got to the set they put him in the background and downgraded him. I don't think he was too happy about that. He told me that they upgraded me to a principal role. But that wasn't true. I was all set to be a principal all along I just didn't know it until I was handed my contract. It's funny how you read all this stuff about being an actor and then one day it all comes together and makes sense. Yup, this is my life now -- being an actor, going out for auditions, taking acting classes and always networking.

I spoke to my parents and they are doing great. I may have to fly home for a visit. I am missing my family and friends. But every time I try to plan something, another film comes up!

Well, hungry already and so I'm getting ready to go out for breakfast. Can't wait till the film The Help comes out later this week. Gonna check with my girlfriends and see who want to come with. Have a great week!

Los Angeles Latino International Film Festival

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The 15th annual Los Angeles Latino International Film Festival (LALIFF) just ended last night with a gala award ceremony. And who was there? Well, yours truly of course. The event concluded with a red carpet walk, screening of the film Cowboys and Aliens written by latino screenwriter, Roberto Orci and a gala after event party.

I attended with friend and fellow actor, Javier who appeared with me in a recent episode of I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant. He also worked on the film Attack of the 30 Foot Chola which should be out later this year.

We had a blast watching the film and the award ceremony. It was cool to be at the event located at the famous Egyptian Theater in downtown Hollywood. I saw many celebrities including Edward James Olmos, Esai Morales and Lupe Ontiveros. I also saw friends including Oskar Toruno, Jesse Garcia and Rick Najera.

The food was fabulous and there was alcohol flowing freely. I had a glass of champagne when I arrived and then after the film had a glass of wine. I didn't take my camera because I just wanted to take in the whole experience without worrying about my camera in my purse.

It was very hot and humid in LA and I am talking 94 degrees in the daytime and it was 68 degrees at 1:30 a.m. when I got home. What I wore: white sleeveless tank top, hot pink skirt, gray heels and a pink & orange scarf. Although I was comfortable, I did feel a little underdressed and most of the ladies were wearing short cocktail type dresses. But then they looked hot and uncomfortable and I was cool and comfortable. Someday when I walk the red carpet, I will dress up and be uncomfortable too. But till then, I am going to be comfortable.

It was fun talking with Esai Morales again and I am loving his webisode, Los Americans. He asked me to spread the word so the show can continue. So google the show and watch all the episodes! It's really good writing and good acting and the Latino cast is so good. I am surprised this has not been picked up by one of the networks.

I have some news which I cannot reveal yet but let's just say that it pays to see and be seen at events like this one. A good time was held by all, great atmosphere, good food, good music and latinos celebrating being in front of and behind the camera.

Hurray, my Dad is okay!

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Well, there is some good news. My father is home now from the hospital. They kept him there for a few days and ran some tests. They believe he may have had a small stroke. He was sent home today with instructions to take an aspirin a day. I heard all this from my sister and so I will have to call directly to see if this is correct. But I am just so glad that he is home now with my Mom.

Went to the movies last night to see A Better Life and this is the second time I've seen it. It was so good again. Nothing like a great script and great acting. If it comes to a city near you, definitely go see it!

I am very tired today for some reason. Oh yeah, I was awakened at 5:45 am. Then I couldn't go back to sleep. Now it's 12 hours later and I am dragging. Great! Well, I do have some good news.

My agent is sending me out on another audition on Monday for another national commercial. Yay! So excited. I will let you know how it goes after the audition.

A crazy weekend ahead, phone calls to make and going out of town next week. The craziness never ends.

A sad time to be alone

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My family is very private and so am I. However, when family is involved in a personal crisis it just brings everything to a screeching halt. I normally start my day like any other actor, searching the breakdowns for acting jobs. I work with my Agent on my career I don't sit on my behind waiting for her to get me a job. I am very proactive.

I work on my weight issues, I eat only health foods now and drink water and milk. Okay, occasionally I will have a glass of wine. I take acting classes and read acting books. I am an advocate for the disabled, especially other polio survivors.

I make sure my car is clean and the gas tank is filled up and ready to go. I do laundry daily so that if I need a certain wardrobe, I am ready.

And then you get the phone call that you dread. My father has taken ill. Now he is so far away in Ohio and there is nothing I can do other than stand by my telephone. I have many sisters to look out for him and care for him and my mother. However, they also are going through this difficult time. Some panic, some get loud, some remain calm and try to find out all the facts before notifying me and my brother who also lives out of town. We should try to be there for each other. I was or at least I always tried to be the peacemaker when I lived at home.

My father has always been a hard working, dedicated husband and father. I am kinda glad that I am not there to see him in ICU. I just spoke with my mother and she seems a little distracted and kinda scared which is unusual for her. But then they have been married for over 50 years and I can imagine how they each must feel when the other is not there.

I know that my father has seen so many changes through these many years. He has worked so hard all his life to provide for his family. I know he loves to travel and he loves to come out west to see me and my brother. And we love to spoil them when they visit. We go out to eat all the time, they like to gamble. They love San Diego and they love to visit with their grandchildren. My father likes to take his afternoon naps and he falls asleep early to the television as my mother reads her gossip magazines. They both love to eat ice cream and recently my father showed me how to make his famous soup, Caldo de Rez.

On a recent trip to Los Angeles, I got them a hotel room in which to rest before they flew out of LAX to go back home. I was so glad that I took them to one of my favorite restaurants. I was glad that I purchased a bottle of wine, cheese, crackers and grapes. My mother and I happily munched and chatted while my father took a nap. They were well rested and I had made arrangements for my father to get some assistance before boarding his plane back home. I have learned how to speak up for myself, how to travel, how to enjoy good food and home made cooking. I have learned how to be a good parent and how I am humbled each time they bow their heads in prayer before every meal. They are good parents and I am glad and proud to be their daughter. I pray that my mother will have the strength to get through these next few difficult days as my father goes through tests and more days at the hospital.

Part of me wants to get on the next plane back home to offer whatever support I can. And yet I know that my parents would both want me to continue working and representing Latinos in a positive manner. I continue to work hard as I audition and train to become a better actor. It is with their continued love and support that I am here doing what I love and doing what I feel I was born to do. I will continue to pray for my father and I know that right now he is surrounded by family that loves him and a wife who has stood by him for many, many years. Their love is a testament to all that is good and true. I may see them soon, I may see them later. It is all in God's hands and we his faithful sheep must endure.

Feature Films

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Yes, people yes it is really me! I have been so busy lately you would not believe it. Last Thursday I met actor Robert David Hall from CSI. He taught our acting class and he is such a gentleman. I took three pages of notes as he shared so much with us. He is a huge advocate for the disabled. He has even spoken in Washington, D.C. and to members of SAG. I was a fan of his show and now I am a fan of David, as he prefers to be called.

And then on Friday, I got an opportunity to audition for Kenneth Castillo. I am a big fan of his work and I finally got to meet him face to face. The audition went well and I received a callback for Wednesday (yesterday). I felt that it went well too and I got a chance to read with another actor, Oscar Torre. I enjoyed his work so much on the cancelled series, Cain with Jimmy Smits. So now I just keep my fingers crossed and say a prayer that I will be the one chosen.

I did not take my laptop with me so I had a ton of emails to attend to when I returned. I haven't written anything for awhile and that is because I am putting all my efforts into being a better actor. And I think my hard work is paying off because while my agent tells me that this is a slow time in the industry, I am still working and auditioning for future work. Thank you, God for the many blessings at this time.

I am meeting new friends, networking and working with some really talented people. I couldn't be happier. So look for me in several films that are in post production right now but should be released soon. And the films are ... Attack of the 30 Ft. Chola, Lean Like A Cholo, The Art Patron and White T. Yes, I can say it now, whew!