A National Commercial would be amazing!

Hit counter provided by www.website-hit-counters.com .

Well, what a week! Three auditions -- almost four! I auditioned with my friend Victor for a print ad. We are still waiting to see if we get a callback. Then I received a call to be at another casting office but could I make it in 1 hour? No way. I asked them if I could come Friday morning but they said no. Then my agent from Daily Talent called and I had another audition Friday afternoon. This was for a SAG national commercial at Alyson Horn casting. So I had the I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant audition Friday morning and the other commercial audition Friday afternoon. Whew! Tired but it felt good to go on these auditions. The more you audition the more comfortable you get and the better you audition. A national commercial would be amazing. That is what I need right now!!!

I've been invited to several screenings. The first is the new Harry Potter film. I am looking forward to going. I asked for an extra ticket and they said yes! Who wants to be my date??? And then SAG is doing a free screening of a film called Reel Injun at the Museum of Tolerance. I also get an extra ticket for that screening. Should be good!

I think I'll do some writing this weekend. I have been reading on the Polio Today site and it gets me depressed. Yikes, I feel sad that some of the members have been going through so many difficulties. But it is nice to go in there and ask a question to someone who is going through the same thing or something similar. Sometimes I wonder if these tweaks are all in my head. Like the other night I was so tired and I didn't overdo it. I just was so tired and it was only 8:30 pm but I couldn't take another step or keep my eyes open. I figured my body is tired and I'm getting my rest. Sure enough, the next morning I felt refreshed. Wouldn't it be great if people had a reboot button? We could just shut it down for the night, no thoughts. No dreams, just out like a light. Then in the morning we would be full of energy and ready to go. I swear I wish I had bionic legs. Then my legs and feet could take me wherever I wanted to go. I could do all the things that other people can do. Like roller skate, ice skating, and dancing. I miss dancing so much. Now maybe I can dance one dance, then I get tired and I have to sit for the remainder of the evening. But my friends who are in wheelchairs tell me I am lucky to stand and walk. So yes, I am grateful.

Now my hands and arms are starting to hurt and I have headaches everyday. I know I am lucky that I was not in the iron lung. And I know I should be wearing my leg braces every day. But I want to go, go, go! And my body says, I don't think so. I'm trying to eat healthier. I remember reading that those of us who have PPS need protein everyday. Eggs, peanut butter, nuts, cottage cheese. I've been cutting down on portions too so hopefully that will help. Nothing like being overweight and sitting in a wheelchair. No fun and it doesn't look sexy either.

Like my new photo? Well I was feeling good and wanted to try a new look. I may look confident but actually I'm quite shy. It takes awhile for me to get to know you. But once I feel good, I'm actually quite funny. I am all business but once I let my hair down, I am actually quite nerdy. Some people look right past me. And that's okay, because I am a silent observer of life. And it's my job as an actor to observe real life. And it's my job as a writer to imagine. And according to Janis Ian, it is our job as an artist to be true to ourselves. I always wondered why I felt different from everyone in my family and from my friends. And it is because I am an artist. And we know each other. We know it before we even see it or say it. It's a beautiful community of artists and that is why we seek each other out.

copyright 2010

"Gigantic"

Hit counter provided by http://www.website-hit-counters.com/ .

First, I would like to say a big thank you to all my friends on Polio Today.org you guys & gals never cease to amaze me with your kindness. I moved across the country to support my husband in his job. Not knowing anyone in California and wondering what was happening with my body, I found a polio support group. We help each other and support each other and I hope to always be an inspiration to them and to my family.

Now, on to some news! I was hired last Fall for several film roles. Some were speaking roles, some were theater roles and some were working as a background extra. I was called and asked to work on a new television show for Nickelodeon called "Gigantic". They were looking for a few character actors and I was chosen. I was available and really enjoyed working on the show. It was a nice day, I was given wardrobe which I am wearing in this photo. I met a new friend, Little John who is an actor and we had a great time. I was surprised to see Angela Robinson who is a director again. I worked with her several years ago and she was very nice and very professional. The crew was great, the food was good and it was a good time.

Then, in February they asked me to work on the show again. Yay! Of course, I would be happy to do so. Can you imagine a huge group including 75 extras for one tv show. Well, I was surprised when one of the crew members came up to me and said, "hey, didn't you work on our show last Fall?" I said yes and he said, "good to see you again". Wow, that was nice. Now, when you work as an extra you have to be professional too, do your job and maybe you will get called back again OR they may even give you a line to say.

So now "Gigantic" has just finished filming their entire first season (18 episodes) and the show will debut in July! Not sure exactly what date or time but stay posted and when I know more, I will let you know. So excited because I am going to be in the opening sequence of the show. Ahh!

I hate it when people say, oh you are an actor? What have you been on? okay here goes: Film: Top Dog, Little Black Book, Sueno, The Virgin of Juarez, Woman's Work and the soon to be released Sympathy for Delicious.

Television: The L Word, Six Feet Under, Robbery/Homicide, I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant, The Fresh Beat Band and Gigantic

Commercials: UPS, Capital One

Public Service Announcements: Tough Love, Rosemary Children's Services

Theater: Camelot, West Side Story, The Medea Complex, Real Women Have Curves, The Vagina Monologues, Frida & Me

Currently filming: "Attack of the 30 Foot Chola"

Currently writing for Latino LA magazine

Keep reading and I'll keep blogging. Thank you for your comments and tell your friends to become followers too. Love it!

Why? Why?

Hit counter provided by http://www.website-hit-counters.com/ .

I'm feeling a little mischievous today. Yesterday I spent a long day in L.A. I had to meet with a new photographer and get some new head shots. Now, I think I look a little like Sandra Oh, Margaret Cho or Connie Chung. See where I am going with this? I tend to look Asian even though I am Latina. Why, oh why am I unhappy with the way I look? I think I still see the girl from high school. But those days are over and now I have to learn to adjust to the way I look now. Next step is waiting for input from my Agent and then I will decide which of the two favorite photos to use. I don't need a ton just one or two new head shots and I'll go from there.

Doing some cleaning today, catching up on laundry and trying not to overdo it. I read today in Polio Today that there is a voice recognition software program that types for you. Wow, I've not heard of that before and what a blessing that would be. It seems like the cost is around $200 and maybe I can one on eBay. And to think when I went to high school my major was Business Stenography. With this software program you can actually dictate and it types for you. So high school was wrong, I never even used stenography. Well, I did it for me. Sometimes I would go to meetings or I would conduct an interview and the speaker would talk so fast. Then my brain would flip it over to stenography. It's great cause no one else can read it but me. Another dying art form I think.

Where are my leg braces? I haven't been using them as much as I should and I think I will get them out. I was in two episodes of the Teen Nick show, "The Fresh Beat Band". We filmed over at Paramount Studios and they wanted me to wear my leg braces and use my wheelchair. So you should look for me to appear soon. Can't miss me!

There is a chill in the air which means another hot bubble bath for me. I am not too happy with my hair right now. I like long hair but it really does not do anything for me. And if I cut it too short, then yes I really look Asian instead of Latin.

Well, the house is clean. The cats are napping and the laundry is done. Time for my bubble bath, leg braces and maybe watching a pay per view movie. My hubby is on vacation this week so we will spend some quality time together. Life is good.

PPS - It's Not for Wimps!

Hit counter provided by http://www.website-hit-counters.com/ .

PPS: Post-Polio Syndrome is what I have and it is definitely not for wimps. I had polio when I was 9 months old. I know this because my parents told me so. I have never known what it was like not to have polio in my life. Yes, polio has been eradicated from the United States but it is still in the world in third world nations.

I try not to think about it. One of the things I read about polio is that it affects all the nerves not just the nerves in your legs. I try not to overdo it but it is difficult when you want to do so much. I can always tell when I'm going to have a bad day. First, I get cold. Then I get headaches, then my legs don't work. So I try to stay warm with hot baths, warm clothing. And sometimes I will have an electric heating pad on my legs.

Also, I try to keep a notepad around. Another symptom of pps is being forgetful. I can be in the living room and need something from my car. I will walk into the garage and by the time I've gotten there, I forgot what I was going to get from the car. It's horrible. Most of you may know that I was a mortgage loan officer for almost 5 years. I resigned my position last year. I could tell that my memory was going and I felt that I could no longer function as well. Loan documents are very important and I did not want to take a risk with important financial documents.

When it comes to auditions, well that is another story. I love to read. I am an avid reader. I usually read 2 or 3 books at a time. When I was a little girl, I couldn't really keep up with my brothers & sisters. So, I stayed indoors and I read books. When you grow up in Ohio, many months are rainy and wintery. So books can take you away to wonderful places. I believe that books helped my vocabulary and my imagination. Back to auditions, I can memorize an entire script. And then I will have an audition and forget the entire paragraph. How is this possible?

I was officially diagnosed with post polio syndrome. I was shocked. I only went to the doctor because I noticed changes in my sleep patterns, energy level, headaches and of course, leg pain. I was hoping to get a prescription and then leave because I hate hospitals. I was there for several hours and met with a doctor, a physical therapist and an orthopedist.

I was told my legs are getting weaker and so are my arms. I was measured and fitted for leg braces and made another appointment to come back for a wheelchair evaluation. I was told I would need and should get a wheelchair. My head was rushing, my head was reeling. Thank goodness I was sitting down because I probably would have fainted. I had no idea that all these many years later of trying to keep up with everyone else, I was hurting my body.

I was all alone with these medical experts whose specialty is polio. Out of the depths of this despair, I wrote "Frida & Me". So now yes, I sit here in my bed and try to stay warm. I sit here with my cat by my side and my trusty laptop. I am supposed to be in Los Angeles this morning to attend a seminar with guest casting director, Lisa Pantone. I was supposed to go to the theater this evening to watch "Frida" at the Frida Kahlo theater. I am in bed and this is where I will stay for the next 2 days. Can you say, "this sucks!"

I am saddened that people don't know how difficult this is for me. I have always been a very independent person. I lived at home with my parents till I was 21 years old. I had never been on a plane. Our large family always went everywhere together like church, out to dinner, to the park, etc. When I was 19, I went to London all by myself. I was working as a secretary at Owens-Illinois. I got my passport and took a trip to see all the things I'd always read about in books. I have a fascination with English history and American history.

When I call people and say that I miss them and want to see them, it is because I miss them and I want to see them. And I am amazed how many people tell me that when they have some time they will call me back and we can schedule a time to get together. Of course I don't tell them that I am lying in bed and just to get to the other room can be a struggle.

Thank goodness for my trusty laptop. Thank goodness for my cat that keeps me company. Thank goodness for my husband who looks out for me and does what he can for me. I think he thinks if I take some daily aspirin that the pain will go away. Maybe demerol, or morphine but not aspirin. Nope, not aspirin.

I know I should be grateful. I don't have cerebral palsy like my friend, Andy. Most days I can walk and drive. But on days like today when I have so much to do and my body says, no way! Well, it is frustrating and it pisses me off.

I remember when I was a little girl I told my mother that I wish I had extra legs. You know, like extra shoes. When my legs would get tired and failed to work I could just take them off and put on new legs and keep going. But now I need new shoulders and new arms and a new neck to hold my head up. PPS is not for wimps.

I will take a hot bath and get dressed. I will make myself some breakfast. I will read my new book and perhaps look at some old photos. I will watch a movie and much later when my husband returns from teaching, we can make lunch. I will try to be strong for him. I want to be here for him. I feel like a shell of the woman I once was. Damn polio, I hate you.