A sad time to be alone

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My family is very private and so am I. However, when family is involved in a personal crisis it just brings everything to a screeching halt. I normally start my day like any other actor, searching the breakdowns for acting jobs. I work with my Agent on my career I don't sit on my behind waiting for her to get me a job. I am very proactive.

I work on my weight issues, I eat only health foods now and drink water and milk. Okay, occasionally I will have a glass of wine. I take acting classes and read acting books. I am an advocate for the disabled, especially other polio survivors.

I make sure my car is clean and the gas tank is filled up and ready to go. I do laundry daily so that if I need a certain wardrobe, I am ready.

And then you get the phone call that you dread. My father has taken ill. Now he is so far away in Ohio and there is nothing I can do other than stand by my telephone. I have many sisters to look out for him and care for him and my mother. However, they also are going through this difficult time. Some panic, some get loud, some remain calm and try to find out all the facts before notifying me and my brother who also lives out of town. We should try to be there for each other. I was or at least I always tried to be the peacemaker when I lived at home.

My father has always been a hard working, dedicated husband and father. I am kinda glad that I am not there to see him in ICU. I just spoke with my mother and she seems a little distracted and kinda scared which is unusual for her. But then they have been married for over 50 years and I can imagine how they each must feel when the other is not there.

I know that my father has seen so many changes through these many years. He has worked so hard all his life to provide for his family. I know he loves to travel and he loves to come out west to see me and my brother. And we love to spoil them when they visit. We go out to eat all the time, they like to gamble. They love San Diego and they love to visit with their grandchildren. My father likes to take his afternoon naps and he falls asleep early to the television as my mother reads her gossip magazines. They both love to eat ice cream and recently my father showed me how to make his famous soup, Caldo de Rez.

On a recent trip to Los Angeles, I got them a hotel room in which to rest before they flew out of LAX to go back home. I was so glad that I took them to one of my favorite restaurants. I was glad that I purchased a bottle of wine, cheese, crackers and grapes. My mother and I happily munched and chatted while my father took a nap. They were well rested and I had made arrangements for my father to get some assistance before boarding his plane back home. I have learned how to speak up for myself, how to travel, how to enjoy good food and home made cooking. I have learned how to be a good parent and how I am humbled each time they bow their heads in prayer before every meal. They are good parents and I am glad and proud to be their daughter. I pray that my mother will have the strength to get through these next few difficult days as my father goes through tests and more days at the hospital.

Part of me wants to get on the next plane back home to offer whatever support I can. And yet I know that my parents would both want me to continue working and representing Latinos in a positive manner. I continue to work hard as I audition and train to become a better actor. It is with their continued love and support that I am here doing what I love and doing what I feel I was born to do. I will continue to pray for my father and I know that right now he is surrounded by family that loves him and a wife who has stood by him for many, many years. Their love is a testament to all that is good and true. I may see them soon, I may see them later. It is all in God's hands and we his faithful sheep must endure.